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1. What is life without having dramas, heartbreaks, get scolded by parents, get terrible marks, having stupid friends, having horrible siblings and so on? What is life without having a night crying alone? I sincerely trying to understand what is the meaning of "life". What is the story behind the meaning of it. I failed to understand.
2. Just how I'm about to enjoy my life, someone will definitely ruins it. And I'm not trying to be ungrateful but frankly, I think I got the worst life ever. I try to really understand what people are trying to do to me. I'm trying to understand what they are trying to help me. I failed. I hate how I try so hard to think of people's feelings but they don't actually think of mine. I hate how I try to please them but they don't actually please me in return. They do bad stuffs to me.
3. I'm happy with my life. I'm happy that I get to have everything I need, but it is not that "happiness" I'm living for. I just feel that even if I don't exist, even if I'm not here, everyone will be happy. Everyone will continue their lives without even mourning about me. Maybe I just think about people's feelings and tend to ignore mine. Maybe I tend to blame myself a lot. Maybe I concede too soon. I'm stupid. I'm weak.
4. What saddens me the most is, I think about others. I think how would they react when I reveal something to everyone they know they didn't like it. But to my disappointment, they didn't treat me the same way. That breaks my heart. To pieces. And I don't know how strong I will go. I don't know how much I will cry alone before sleeping. I don't know how much I will hope that people will concern about me more.
5. Maybe I should be selfish at times. It's never easy to be happy. It's hard to stay happy.
-I'm the worst child in the family.
