My blog is plain.
Just like my life.
Goodbye.

Elynn Bobbay's.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Living Life At Its Worst.

"Tired of trying"


1. What is life without having dramas, heartbreaks, get scolded by parents, get terrible marks, having stupid friends, having horrible siblings and so on? What is life without having a night crying alone? I sincerely trying to understand what is the meaning of "life". What is the story behind the meaning of it. I failed to understand.

2. Just how I'm about to enjoy my life, someone will definitely ruins it. And I'm not trying to be ungrateful but frankly, I think I got the worst life ever. I try to really understand what people are trying to do to me. I'm trying to understand what they are trying to help me. I failed. I hate how I try so hard to think of people's feelings but they don't actually think of mine. I hate how I try to please them but they don't actually please me in return. They do bad stuffs to me.

3. I'm happy with my life. I'm happy that I get to have everything I need, but it is not that "happiness" I'm living for. I just feel that even if I don't exist, even if I'm not here, everyone will be happy. Everyone will continue their lives without even mourning about me. Maybe I just think about people's feelings and tend to ignore mine. Maybe I tend to blame myself a lot. Maybe I concede too soon. I'm stupid. I'm weak.

4. What saddens me the most is, I think about others. I think how would they react when I reveal something to everyone they know they didn't like it. But to my disappointment, they didn't treat me the same way. That breaks my heart. To pieces. And I don't know how strong I will go. I don't know how much I will cry alone before sleeping. I don't know how much I will hope that people will concern about me more.

5. Maybe I should be selfish at times. It's never easy to be happy. It's hard to stay happy.

-I'm the worst child in the family.